HOW THEY OPERATE

The most common types of infidelity involve a spouse who is seeing a single person. The next most common type tends to be two married people who engage in an affair. These people usually live in the same area and very often work together or have some work connection (supplier, vendor, contractor, etc.) They often have some reason to communicate that is not related to the affair and can act as some type of cover.

Although every situation is different, the most common times and places that they get together for sex is during the work day. They will meet in the morning, perhaps an hour or two before work or leave work early to do something at a client, etc. and meet. If one person is single, then his or her place is the most obvious meeting place. If they are two married people, the hotel / motel is the next most obvious place to go. Frequently they will have another person or project that can be a cover story, like a sports league, extra work assignment, project with a friend, etc. that will allow them to get away from you and be out for a few hours in the evening or on the weekend. Travel can also be an opportunity for the cheaters to meet up. A work conference, trade show, training that takes him or her away allows an excellent opportunity to hook up.

They use cash from the ATM machine when they need money to forward the affair. They change their grooming habits and take extra time getting ready before they meet. They have “cell phone problems” when you try and call. They hide behind the excuse that “you are crazy” when you ask about what they are up to. Most will deny everything until confronted with proof of the affair.

An unfaithful spouse will often be caught daydreaming. They buy new clothes, lose weight, go tanning, get a new hairstyle, groom more, lose sexual interest at home, suddenly stop complaining about things in your relationship that once bothered them, act more confident, develop new hobbies, friends, activities or projects that take them away from the house, etc. They also seem to have more energy and frequently, they will grow impatient on the weekends when at home. They seem to be anxious on the weekend and want the weekend to be over sooner. They will become guarded about their cell phone, maybe even get a new phone all together or a new e-mail. They will check e-mail or surf the web more often on the weekends and during the evenings. Although it sounds silly, they will even keep their car cleaner!